I feel like my boys are growing soooo much and soooo fast lately....not sure how to handle it all. Some of it has been exciting and fun, some of it is hurting my heart - of course it is inevitable and there is not a thing I can do about it. I think the pain of their growing comes with the fear of regret.
- what if I look back and it was not enough?
- what if I fail them in some way and when I see it later and I long to go back for a re-do?
- what do I say to them when they walk away from me as an adult - to college, work, their own place, the military - that will accurately encapsulate my love, my hopes, and my dreams for them?
- what if I regret choices I made, time I did not savor, patience I lost?
URGGGHHH!!! This mommy thing is sooo much harder than anyone could have conveyed to me. I know how unhealthy it is to live in the past, to dwell on "what ifs" and wallow in regret. I hope it is just enough to remind me to cherish the times, the moments, however hard they are at times.
Soooo in the past few months my oldest turned double digits - 10!!! Oh my, that is quite a milestone birthday. We celebrated with a trip to the beach with Uncle Rich and family - to Mark's place at Isle of Palms. He hit the 4'9" mark, so he is at the "it is okay to move out of a booster seat" height...no more booster for this big boy.
My "baby" finally broke 40lbs.....what a thin little guy he is. While he is small, he is mighty!! He was on swim team for the first time this summer at Shades Cliff Pool. He struggled a bit in the beginning and only participated in practice for most of the season then he swam in the very last swim meet and won the HEAT....he was sooooo excited and sooo proud of himself...it was AWESOME!!!
Hard for this Mommy in soooo many ways but proud for me as well.....blessed to call them mine!