PSchool

Evan is registered for preschool.  Next fall he will begin his preschool "career" at Hunter Street Baptist.  He was actually excited when we were there registering; which was a relief.  For quite some time in prior months whenever the topic would come up about him going to school next year he always would say "I not go school.  I stay home with you."  He went through a second stage of separation anxiety at about 2 1/2 and I wondered if preschool would ever be something he would be excited about.  Now he is excited.  Whenever I mention school now he says "I go school next year. I go Pschool when I am three."  It is so cute.  I LOVE how he still speaks like such a little guy even though he will be 3 in May.  Since Brady was beyond most children his age, in regard to communication, I am accustomed to a little guy saying things like a big boy and very clearly by this point.  My Evan speaks just like you would expect a 2 1/2 year old to speak so when he talks about Pschool, I think it is so cute.  It also makes him seems so young; too young to go to preschool.

While we were at Hunter Street Baptist Church, Evan misunderstood why we were there.  He thought he was actually going that day.  When it was time to go, after waiting (there were only 4 spots available) a while to register, he got upset.  He said "I go Pschool, Mommy.  I go Pschool today."  I had to explain not until next year when you are three.  As we were walking out of the school he kept saying "I play with awed (all) the boys".  It was so cute. 

Now whenever school comes up, he says: "I go to school (or Pschool) nes (next) year, Mommy, when I am three."

I love it!  I love him!

**A fun pic from Christmas (he got this backpack from Uncle Rich and Aunt Jenny and did not want to take it off all day) that made me think of him going off to school.  He looked too small to be wearing this backpack and going off to school.**

GOING, GOING, GOING....

GONE!  I am enjoying watching Maddox on the go.  He is crawling all over the house now.  It is fun to watch.  I am sure because he is my baby.  For me, it is also because his older brothers never crawled prior to walking.  It is also sad, again, I am sure it is because he is my baby.  It is also a little nerve wracking since his big brothers have unsafe small toys in arm's reach.  I try to explain this to them, of course, but they are just 5 and 2 years old. 

Breastfeeding will also be gone soon : (  So sad!  Maddox is the caboose so this is it for me.  Mixed emotions for sure; mostly sad.  There is some feeling of relief since my body has not been mine for almost the past 4 years.  Pregnancy for almost a year with Evan and then 13 months of breastfeeding.  While still breastfeeding Evan I got pregnant with Maddox, essentially another year.   It has now been a year of breatfeeding him.  There is something empowering and amazing about knowing you are the one GOD has chosen - and equipped - to sustain your sweet angel's life.  There is definitely a sweet special bond and love shared while snuggling, soothing, and nurturing that precious baby.  Some of my favorite sweet pics of Maddox in my head are looking down at him in my arms with him asleep on my chest....that picture of security and serenity is incomparable.  The week after his birthday I dropped one of his four feedings to start the weaning process and gave him a sippy cup of whole milk, which he chugged and enjoyed.  We are now down to 3 feedings and probably should figure out my plan for dropping another one this week : (  Not quite ready to as I know this going as well and soon this will be going, going, GONE too!

Our Big Boy!

Our sweet Maddox went for his one year check up on Thursday, February 9th.   He weighed in at 19 lb. 3 oz. - 10th percentile; he is 30 1/4 inches tall - 75th percentile; and his head is 18 1/4 inches - 50th percentile.  He is in great health and did great at his check-up. 

He is adding to his vocabulary.  He is definitely chatting a whole lot, even if it doesn't make sense to us; it is obvious he knows what he is saying.  The words he is saying that we know are: uh-uh (uh-oh), Momma (his first word), da da, nie nie (night night), anc u, (thank you), ah duh (all done).  So cool hearing him express himself.

He has graduated....

to the blog...my little family journal.  Our sweet baby Maddox turned one a week ago today and so now I am done with documenting everything in his "Baby's First Year Journal" and he has graduated to the blog where I hope to be diligent in tracking his milestones, memories, and moments that I just want to always be able to cherish.  My hope also is that one day my boys will appreciate all the journaling I have done and view it as a resource for when they become Daddys (or maybe their wives will).  If nothing else I hope it is fun for them to read through how fun - and funny - it was for their Daddy and I to raise them.  And how DIFFICULT at times.  Mostly I hope they gain the understanding of just how LOVED and cherished they were/are!

So, little man is now a whole year old....hard for Mommy since he is our caboose.  No more babies for me...technically speaking, he is a toddler.  I got to tell you, I DESPISE that word right now.  I want him to be a baby forever.  I know, I know, I know.....everyone keeps saying "He will always be your baby."  No $#!%!! But we all know that it is not the same.  They get bigger, they start whining, talking back, not able to sleep snuggled up against your chest, preferring others to you, not drinking breast milk (at least not from your breast....move over momma, there is cold cow's milk readily available and safe for your baby now).  So many reasons to mourn the fact that I am no longer the Mommy to a baby...I am a Mommy to a TERRIFIC two-year-old, a FABULOUS five-year-old, and a TREASURED toddler, but not a BOUNCING, BEAUTIFUL baby!

So, how I am getting through this??? I am just enjoying the lingering babyisms...he is still nursing - although we have started the weaning process this past weekend, he will still fall asleep against my chest before nap and bed if he is REALLY worn out, he is not walking yet, he still fits comfortably and wonderfully (and likes it) in the Ergo, and he still seems to prefer me over anyone else....YEA!!!  In fact, his first word - and still his favorite - is Momma. 

Another way I am coping with this revelation?   I am focusing on all that is to come with three boys as they get older.  I look to the future as they get to ages where we can grab a couple clean pairs of underwear and a toothbrush and jump in the van and go on a trip (vs. now with monitors, pack n plays, pacis, sippy cups, diapers, etc.).  I look forward to all of us relaxing together as a cozy family on a Sunday afternoon all laying around the den enjoying a quiet time reading and napping.  I even look forward to when I can sit and have a cup of coffee, a glass of wine, or a beer and have a grown-up conversation with my "men" boys.  

Those are a couple of my "coping" mechanisms as I accept the fact that I do not have any "babies" and that I will not have anymore.  

I am so blessed to call these three babies "mine"!  Thank you, LORD!

Bye bye paci

So Friday, January 13th - yes Friday, the 13th - was the night...Evan said "bye" to his paci. After sleeping with it for 2 years and 8 months, we closed that chapter for him. We did what we did with Brady and "celebrated" the fact that he is a big boy instead of just taking it away.   So our sweet friends, Amanda & Stefan, let Brady come over and play with his best buds, Grayson & Olivia, while we made a special night out of "being a big boy".  (We brought Maddox with us because he is quiet and not going to steal any attention or spotlight from Evan). 

We took Evan to the mall, to Build-A-Bear, and let him choose an animal of his liking.  He said goodbye to his paci and put it inside the elephant that he chose.  He named him Pauly D, with his Daddy's prompting.  After he chose his elephant, we went and rode the carousel (he again chose the elephant), and then he had an ice cream.  It was a nice time with just our big boy, Evan.

I was definitely concerned with how this would go when sleep time came as that is the only time our boys have them so saying goodbye in the mall doesn't have the full impact that sleep time will have.  We had a rough night that first night.  As fiesty as Evan is, Chris and I were fully prepared to find Pauly D torn apart with stuffing everywhere and the paci in his mouth come Saturday morning.

The first night was rough....LOTS of tears and crying for many hours......then he finally quieted down but woke up on and off all night.  Saturday at nap, some trouble and tears, but not as long.  Saturday night more DRAMA and "I want my papi (paci).  I get it out."  as he grabs for Pauly D and examines him to see where his opening is.  YIKES!!  We have a much more stern conversation with him about things on Saturday night and it does not take as long as Friday night and Chris does not have to stay in there for the night.  Sunday nap and night a little drama but not much.  By Monday and Tuesday, he was over it.  He would still ask for it from time to time with a knowing smirk on his face - testing me to see what I would say, but that is it.  After a couple of weeks, there are no more discussions regarding the paci.

He is OFFICIALLY a big boy : )